Pilgrimage to the Holy Manasarovar & Mt.Kailash

By: Sharmila Sanka, U.S.A

                                                                                                                              

How it all started

                     That was another turning point in my life; another milestone; another step on the ladder of self-realization that crowned my life with fulfilment when my friend Anupama asked me, “Sharmila, are you interested to join me to Kailash and Manasarovar with the group led by a PeeTadhipathi called Sri Radhananda Swamiji in India in May? I am asking you since you are very much interested in these spiritual things.” That was very fascinating for me since, going to Manasarovar was like a dream for me from my childhood that I never thought humans could literally go in person. I didn’t even know where it existed on the earth. We heard from mom in our childhood several times that the Manasarovar Lake arose from the mind of Lord Brahma at the spur of the moment. I knew it was an almost impossible thing to go but my heart became positively heavy with that very thought. First, I admired Anu for being very fortunate to be able to plan to visit Kailash and Manasarovar and said that I needed to discuss with Sai.  With our kids’ hectic summer schedule, I didn’t think it would ever become a possibility. But I asked Sai if I could go and he was not quite sure since it was like a big adventure and me going alone was not an easy thing but at the same time, going with family seemed to be impossible due to the kids’ prescheduled summer classes. After much thought, Sai said we could try next time which really disappointed me. It was Saturday evening and I was just praying to Lord Shiva and Maa Parvathi to bless me with the trip. That was my only prayer and my heart was filled with the craving. I sat on the couch at my house praying for their grace and looked through the windows from my living room in the evening. My thoughts were filled with them. To my utter surprise, I could see that every cloud was in pair resembling Shiva and Parvathi. I saw again and again if it was my imagination but it was true. I was shocked and thrilled, for the sky seemed to be filled with Shiva and Parvathi. I didn’t know if it was the sight due to my thoughts or they appeared for real in every cloud pair.  But what I saw was true. It was as if they were pulling me towards them with that beautiful sight. For the first time, I could understand Swami’s saying of seeing the almighty in every part of the Universe.  

Sathya Sai’s message 

                  I went for Sunday bhajans the next day and prayed to Swami intensely to bless me go to the spiritual trip and even prayed thus- “Swami! I depend only on you. Please tell me if I will go to Kailash.” I closed my eyes and then, I received Swami’s message thus-

“Mimmalni Kailash lo kalustaanu. Kailasaanni dooram nundi choosi vacheyandi.” (I will meet you at Kailash. See Kailash from far and come back.)

Amazing! I got my answer. His message meant that I would go to Kailash for sure. I was in ecstasy but things should fall in place for it to happen. We went home after bhajans, and my sister Krishna from Dubai called and asked if I was going to Kailash since I asked her if she wanted to join me if I went. Sai said it would not be possible due to kids’ classes. It sounded like it was his final decision and my last hopes got shattered in no time. I was very upset though I very well trusted Sai’s decisions with much thought put into them at all times. I knew his good intentions and his concern for the kids’ schedule but that spiritual goal got imprinted in my heart that I was ready to forego anything for it. I was even ready to go without my family. I finally lost all my hopes and sorrow filled my heart.  I didn’t know what happened but in just a few minutes, Sai all of a sudden asked me- “Do you want to go to Kailash by yourself?” I said in all smiles, “Only if you are sure.” He immediately called Anu and asked her to book one more ticket for me to go to Kailash. My happiness knew no bounds. I felt indebted to Sai and the Lord for acting through him. It was really kind of Sai to let me go despite having a hectic schedule for kids and it would ultimately fall upon him to take care of the kids completely. But he was all prepared to face everything to fulfil my wish. There was nothing I could remember that Sai didn’t fulfil, be it big or small.  Though I was happy that he agreed, I still wanted to go to Kailash with him as a couple and so asked him to accompany me but he said he couldn’t due to kids’ schedule and who would take them to the classes at school. I didn’t dare to ask him anymore since I was not quite sure it was on his wish list.

                     There were Neela, Jay Shankaran and family from Indianapolis joining Anu, Suresh Chengalva and family. All of us met to discuss the trip in detail and shopped and shopped for parikrama (going around Mount Kailash by foot). Though the trip sounded fascinating, it was scary for me to even think of parikrama with my constant back pain.  I prayed to the Lord to please remove my back pain just for the Kailash trip which would be impossible but I put in my prayer like a child of innocent hope. I said I would do parikrama just for a day and I would come back to the base camp waiting for the rest to join after 3-day parikrama. Sai said that was not the right thing and that I should do complete parikrama. But I prepared myself just for a day since I knew my situation and my inability to walk for miles and my intention was to feel the Lord and enjoy those moments rather than struggling to even walk and forget to connect with the Lord.

                     Meanwhile, Anu dreamt where in, Sai was packing for Kailash trip and when she related her dream to him asking him to join me, he laughed it off saying it was a mere dream. After few days, she dreamt where in, I offered my Jhoola meant for Swami and Anu and myself were praying. When swami asked what wish Anu had, she said, “Swami, please fulfil whatever Sharmila is asking for.” She shared this dream with Sai and said it was once in a life time opportunity that he should avail. Sai said, “Even I wanted to come but I am only worried about kids’ classes.” I was so thrilled to hear that from him and I said, “If kids’ classes are the only issue,   leave it to me. I will make arrangements for it.” He said he was fine with it. Fortunately, my niece and nephew’s family living in Indianapolis already told me to go together as a couple and they would take care of the kids for those few days we were gone. Shilpa insisted not to hesitate at all and she would take them to the classes. I was so happy to hear her say those words as usual. With faith in them, we said okay for Sai’s ticket to be booked if a single slot was available being the last minute change, since  Anu few days back said that the booking was already closed for the group. Her dad’s only worry not to allow anyone else was that, the number already crossed 50 in the group and it would be difficult to manage. Anu said she would speak to her dad Sri Koteswararao garu and convince him saying that Sai manages people very well and he would be very helpful to him during the trip. No one was sure about Sai’s addition since it was too late and group visa for Tibet would have been finalized and it was little late for Sai but still Anu tried and her dad luckily Okayed for Sai to join. My joy knew no bounds to visit the most auspicious place on the earth with my husband but prayed to the Lord to give such opportunity to my kids in future.

My earnest prayers to the Lord to grant darshan at Kailash

                    Few days before the trip, with earnest prayers to the Lord, I sat at the altar and poured out my heart in tears of bliss asking Shiva and Parvathi to bless me with their darshan. I was fascinated on how every devotee visiting Kailash, experiences them in some form or the other. I was yearning for that moment. I prayed to my dad and father-in-law to bless us and our trip. The moment we decided to plan for the trip, I had the idea of having the pinDa pradhana ritual performed for them by Sai at the banks of Manasarovar. I heard that performing that ritual at Manasarovar is the highest one and Pitru Devathas would be waiting for such a moment and they would go to Divya lokas.  I prayed to both of them to bless me with their dream if they were happy about us going to Manasarovar and Kailash and if they were going to benefit from it. The very next day, I dreamt of my dad glowing with happiness which affirmed me that it would benefit my Pitru Devathas in their after lives.

Journey starts-Pashupathinath Jyothrlinga 

                    We reached Nepal along with the group from India totaling to 54 people including Peethadhipathi Sri Radhananda Swami and a Priest. We were welcomed by Kailash Treks travel agency personnel with Rudraksha mala to bedeck our necks. Without wasting a bit, we went to the famous and beautiful Pashupathinath temple and a Jyothirlinga in Nepalgunj. It is a famous, sacred Hindu temple dedicated to Pashupatinath and is located on the banks of the Baghmati River 5 kilometers north-east of Kathmandu Valley in the eastern part of Kathmandu, the capital of Nepal. This temple complex is on UNESCO World Heritage Sites' list Since 1979. This "extensive Hindu temple precinct" is a "sprawling collection of temples, ashrams, images and inscriptions raised over the centuries along the banks of the sacred Baghmati river."

                  Next day, early in the morning, we started in a bus to Janakpuri Dhaam, located in southeastern Nepal. Janakpur is the birth place of Maa Sita and where she was wedded with Sri Rama. It took us 8-10 hours to reach there but it was very hectic with no good rest room facility. The system was very poor and unhygienic that some of us had to control the urge to use the rest rooms until we reached the hotel. But it was a scenic place on our way with several ups and downs with the hills.

Anupama, Anuradha, Sharmila & Neela-on the way to Janakpuridham

We were completely exhausted but spent all our time in singing devotional songs and shlokas. We finally reached our destination and were fortunate to stop at a place where, Rama broke the bow to prove his valor to marry Sita. The center portion of the bow was fallen in a place near the palace of Janakpuri dhaam. We went and touched the wood like bow piece spreading inside the earth like roots for the past few years. We performed Abhishek am to it, and prayed.

Shiva’s central portion of the bow broken by Rama to wed Sita

Finally, we went to Janakpur palace and went to the wedding hall where Lord Rama and Maa Sita got wedded and sanctified that place with their footsteps. It was a big hall with Vasishta and other Maharishis, Rama’s dad Dasaratha and Sita’s family sitting in a square. We prayed to Maa Sita and Rama parivar, took their blessings and performed Pooja for mom too since she wrote Ramayana and always longed for Rama parivar.

Janakpur palace of Maa Sita

There were small temples for Rama and his brothers on all four sides. When we were praying at the Rama temple, priest blessed us with his hands on our heads and placed kumkum on our foreheads very firmly and I felt divine vibrations in that touch.

After darshan, we were about to leave and the Priest beckoned us to come back to our surprise and had Sai apply kumkum on my forehead and asked us to take a picture with him and the Lord. We felt quite happy with that unasked opportunity and with a divine smile, relished the beauty of that palace and imagined how Sita Maa would have walked on those paths and gardens in her childhood along with her sisters. It was fascinating to think that Lord Rama walked on that holy land to marry Sita. I invoked her blessings and with contentment, returned to our hotel in Janakpur.

Priest blessing Sai & Sharmila

The next day, we started off in the bus to Nepalgunj and bonded well with the group in the bus and had a great time introducing ourselves to each other. Time flew by and we reached Nepalgunj.

Vageeshwari/Bhageeshwari Temple-Shakthi peeT 

We went to Shakthi PeeT called Bhageshwari or Vaageshwari temple, where the tongue of Sati fell. They were about to close the temple and we didn’t have time to perform the Pooja;  being in a large group it was difficult to make a last minute decision and so, we returned to the hotel with heavy heart that we couldn’t perform Pooja in Shakti PeeT and we would be flying early in the morning for Simikot. We didn’t want to break up with the group to solely perform pooja in that hour of closure and so came back with the group to the hotel that we lost a great opportunity to perform pooja at that holy Shakthi peeT.

                      Fortunately or unfortunately, the flight from Nepalgunj to Simikot got cancelled due to bad weather and we were held up at Nepalgunj for a day. We felt very happy at that moment, and thought it was a God given opportunity to perform special Pooja for Goddess at the Vageeshwari temple. We went to the temple and performed special Pooja and saw the tongue piece of the Goddess in black in a small pit covered with stone which was shown only during the special Pooja, while all the garbha temple doors were closed at that time. One stranger was with us all the time and ensured we were just fine and that we were provided a prompt service. We felt him to be a God-sent messenger to guide us.  We were told by him that it was a very powerful place and that our prayers or wishes would be fulfilled in 15 days without fail.  I prayed for my niece Sravya’s wedding. Lo! What a miracle! In less than 15 days, her wedding was confirmed and what a miracle! My sister Rupa was extremely thankful to me for praying for Sravya and I asked her to convey thanks to Maa Parvathi for fulfilling it and not me. I even prayed for the welfare of my family and friends. I prayed that all the females in both families should live a life of sumangali. We got back the offerings back from Devi as prashad-bindi, bangles, flowers and the cloth which were placed on the silver tongue and the idol. When the stone was removed to show us the tongue piece in the pit, we offered abhishekam to it and I asked that the silver idol of Shivayya and Ma Parvathi be placed on that tongue to charge it to place it in my altar. There was a small pit under the platform where the idol was placed and water was coming into that pit which we were given as prashad. We  felt divine vibrations inside the temple and walked out with a sense of satisfaction that we received her blessings.  We thanked the stranger who ensured we got our pooja done in a special way; got the blessed articles as Prashad to us; who hurried the Priest to prioritize our group and saved lots of our time and asked if we were happy and satisfied. Sai offered him money and he said he did it only for our sake and not for the sake of money or expectations. He was no doubt God sent messenger or God himself. If it was you my Lord, please forgive us that we were unable to recognize you at that moment though we then knew it was your hand that was working through him.

                    Next day, we were asked to check out the hotel in the morning at 6 AM with the hope to take a flight to Simikot but there was no hope of the weather being cleared. We were simply sitting in the hotel corridors for half a day with the hope to start for Simikot but in vain.  Due to bad weather conditions at Simikot, we were held up at Nepalgunj for another day. We were told by our travel guide that the airplane that left the previous day for Simikot crashed and one person died while a few were hospitalized. Fear filled many hearts after watching the news on TV. There was no hope of leaving for Simikot and Hilsa that day too.

                 I should mention about Chandrasekhar and Lalitha who were our Indiana guides and mentors who went on the trip before. They gave us innumerable priceless tips and kept us inspired in our hopeless moments. They would inspire us every moment saying it was Lord’s will that we entered his land and he would take care of the rest too and that even a glimpse of the Lord at Mt.Kailash would make us forget all the suffering. They kept saying even before we started on the trip that we would face several problems and Shiva always tests his devotees before blessing. Chandra said, “It takes 21 generations of our forefathers to make this trip happen and that a dip in Manasarovar and Kailash darshan is the full yatra completion.” We thought about them numerous times all through our trip and may their good hearts be truly blessed. They did travel with us in our thoughts and all of us prayed for them too. That was how we could thank their family.

Penance to please the Lord to remove obstacles 

                    Meanwhile, our group was praying for Lord’s grace and our U.S.A group of 10 was also tensed since we already lost 2 out of 3 days for the parikrama. We couldn’t afford to lose another day. So, all of us started getting thoughtful and prayed intensely for the Sun to glow to his best and that the weather should become normal and sunny for the flights to resume services. We chanted several shlokas. Anu sisters and myself sat together and passed healing energy to our wish of the weather being cleared and leaving soon for Simikot. While having Tea at the hotel, our U.S.A group was discussing Plan B.  I then told them about the message I received from Swami asking to see Kailash from far and come back. They were surprised to hear it but Jay said that there was no way it would happen since we would at least go for one day parikrama and see Kailash from close and my message would and should not come true.  We laughed it off and left our hopes and fears to the Lord but I kept wondering why Swami gave me that message when we were so sure to do parikrama.

                 We didn’t want to waste our precious time sitting in the hotel. So our U.S.A group decided to cover another Shiva’s temple next to Vaageshwari temple. We first visited Shiva with mustache and then went to Vaageshwari temple for the third time. It was night and the temple bells were loudly rung for thirty minutes by three people in rhythm, while people were getting ready to have her darshan and one priest went inside the closed garbha temple to give arathi to Maa in private. That was very serene and powerful and we felt fortunate to be at that moment. Goddess was gracious enough to let us have her darshan for the third time. Thanking her, we reached our hotel with a determination to reach the airport even though we knew there were few groups already waiting from previous day at the airport to get into the flight to Simikot. Sun God listened to our sincere prayers and rose with spirit in full enthusiasm like us.

                Facing several discomforts and unexpected hurdles and surprises, we finally started off to Simikot and while we were going in the bus to go to the airport to fly to Simikot, we saw a beautiful picture of Swami Sri Sathya Sai Baba with his abhaya hastha (both hands raising high giving blessing.)  It was as if, he was blessing us since we were little scared of reaching Simikot safely having the notorious dangerous landing zone. We happily and hopefully went to the airport that was filled with pilgrims. So, our group had to sit under the tree outside the airport on a sunny day with hand fans coming to our rescue sweating so much with tons of luggage around. For once in our lives, the sweat didn’t bother us. We felt cool inside our hearts despite the hot sweat travelling all over our body. We were thanking Sun for bestowing his blessings on us to be able to travel in the small airplanes with a capacity of 30 people.

Nepalgunj airport on a sunny Day

             We finally sat in the airplane for Simikot. It was like a dream come true. But it was a bit scary to be amidst the deep mountains and I intensely prayed for safe landing in Simikot. We reached Simikot safely with Swami’s grace. Immediately, we took a helicopter ride to Hilsa and the scenery was simply beautiful. We flew everywhere possible to save some time as planned before.

               Terrifying Hilsa 

We reached Hilsa , a town on the northwestern corner of Nepal bordering Tibet Autonomous Region (China) where the Karnali crosses from the Tibetan Plateau into the mountain regions on its descent to the Ganges. Hilsa was 12,000 feet high from the sea level. It was there, we could feel the difference in our breathing with high altitude. We had to walk to reach our cottages but it was quite tiring to take those few steps. We were provided small wooden cottages with awful bathrooms amidst the cold night with temperatures dropping down and with wind blowing at high speed. Since we lost 2 days in Nepalgunj, we didn’t have time for altitude acclimatization at Simikot or Hilsa.  The initial plan was to acclimatize for a day or two and then go to Taklakot in Tibet to reach Manasarovar. We were much warned with altitude sickness and the precautions to be taken to avoid any mishap. But due to lack of time even to take a walk and get used to the high altitudes, most of us experienced altitude sickness. My head was aching as if someone was pounding with a hammer on my head continuously and the pain didn’t stop all night. I lacked energy even to move inside the small room. Every few steps I took, I was breathing hard and was getting exhausted. Thanks to Sai for being there by my side to put on my socks, gloves and head wrap. I went down for dinner in the open field outside the cottages but I felt nauseated and didn’t feel like eating. Anu said she had similar feel and asked me to forcefully throw up to relax a bit which in fact helped me.

HILSA Cottage

We had to go to the restroom with head lamp wrapped around our heads since there was no power in the cottages. I was praying to the Lord to help me pass through that dreadful night quickly and requested the Sun to dawn in early since it was my first toughest night of my life. It was so cold that I couldn’t sleep all night with pounding headache. Travel folks informed us that for the immigration to complete successfully without any issues, we should delete any Dalai Lama’s photos or messages from our phones to enter Taklakot in Tibet which was an iron bridge away from Hilsa. The immigration folks would manually check every phone and go through all the pictures and messages. We also heard that they would imprison them if Dalai Lama’s picture was found. They in fact put one person in jail for 2 days due to this. It was all due to the political issues in China. Even if the picture was found in one person’s phone, the entire group’s visa would be cancelled and all would be denied entry into their country. It was like a bomb on top of all the issues we were already having.  Anuradha was awake all night since she remembered having Dalai Lama’s pics and messages in her phone. 

                     The next morning, we crossed the iron bridge crossing Karnali river from Hilsa to Taklakot for the Chinese immigration.

3 musketeers meditating at the Karnali River

There, we met a pilgrimage group that just finished their trip. We were told that it snowed and the Manasarovar Lake was lightly frozen and so they just had to pour water drops on their heads and couldn’t take a dip. We were also warned by our guides that we should not have even a tiny piece of newspaper with us. We trashed any paper that we had. We were all praying for the immigration to complete without any issues and by Lord’s grace, it went pretty fine after they checked each and every phone as expected which took few hours. We went in a bus to Taklakot that night and I was so excited that I would see my Lord in few hours when the Sun rose. I was tired and it was midnight but for some reason, I was not able to sleep. Suddenly at that odd hour, I received a phone call from Roopali. It was afternoon on June 2^nd in U.S.A. Roopali busted the news about Roohi by which I was taken aback-a bud blossomed into a flower on that day. I sincerely prayed and invoked Shiva and Maa Parvathi to go in person to Roohi at least during the night when she’s asleep and do the ritual, give aarathi and put kumkum on her forehead and bestow their blessings as divine parents filling these human parents’ space.  I was sad not to be with her but I was sure my divine parents fulfilled my wish towards Roohi and I had sense of contentment that it was an auspicious time since we were to start for Manasarovar and Kailash in few hours. It was destined to happen and it happened. One way I was glad kids stayed home.

Much awaited journey to Manasarovar & Kailash 

                       We started off to Manasarovar in a bus. It would take two hours to do parikrama in the bus, going around the lake. With the thought that the previous batch of pilgrims couldn’t take a dip in the Manasarovar Lake, our prayers got intense and all of us chanted Aditya Hrudayam to invoke Lord Surya to shine upon us to the best of his ability and help keep us and the atmosphere warm to complete our Manasarovar and Kailash trip.  I would connect to Sun in times of need and he responds always and he did this time too out of his grace. It was another beautiful and wish-fulfilling sunny day. We were reminded by our guide that it would be a memorable moment in all our lives to glimpse ‘Kailash’ on our way to Manasarovar in the bus.

First ever glimpse of Kailash from the bus

As usual, we kept singing bhajans and shlokas in the bus and all of a sudden, we could hear the divine gush while people were looking through the bus windows to have a glimpse of Mount Kailash. That was the moment we were destined to first see Kailash. We were filled with joy. But our thirst was not quenched even by an inch. On the way, we stopped at ‘Rakshasthal’, lake in which the demon king Ravana performed hard penance for Shiva.

Rakshasthal, where Ravana performed Tapas

Though a demon, Ravana was a great devotee of Shiva. So, I conveyed my respects to him and walked ahead to finally witness Kailash. It was as if my heart stopped its beat to witness the divinity of Kailash. Tears of bliss ran down my cheeks seeing the Kailash clearly for the very first time in my life. That was a moment to be inscribed in gold; that was the moment I waited to experience; that was the moment which would become a history in my life; a moment that happened in my life out of immeasurable grace of the Lord and a moment that I humbly took pride in taking a human form and fulfilling my life’s objective. How could I express my gratitude to the Lord for his infinite love granted upon this tiny living creature? I took the blessings of the Lord and then paid my respects to my soul mate Sai right in front of the Lord, for Sai was always a blessing who crowned my life. I built a small pyramid out of rocks as per Anuradha’s words, since it was the custom there and then returned to the bus in joy.

                           We saw Gurla Maandhaata Mountains where, Ganesha’s neck was cut by Lord Shiva. The mountain sits roughly across Lake Manasarovar from the sacred peak of Mount Kailash.

Gurla Maandhaata Mountains where, Ganesha’s neck was cut by Lord Shiva

We offered our prayers and started walking back to the bus when I saw one sage with tons of Rudrakshas around his neck. He looked very divine like Shiva and I didn’t want to miss that opportunity. I went to him and offered my salutations and asked him where he came from. He said, “I am coming from Vishwanatha in Kasi.” I was thrilled.   The other side of Rakshasthal is Manasarovar with a small mountain diving both the lakes.

A dip in the majestic Manasarovar Lake 

We travelled for few minutes and lo, we witnessed the beautiful, indescribable Manasarovar Lake. How beautiful it was! All our problems and complaints vanished once we saw the beautiful and majestic lake. No wonder it was created out of Lord Brahma’s mind. We travelled for an hour around the lake for a parikrama and stopped at one place and the buzzing started. The tents were fixed by the travel guys. We got our bags out and our Priest asked us to stand in pairs and chanted some shlokas before taking a holy dip in Manasarovar. The weather was so beautiful and sunny those next few days.  We were lucky to have a dip in the Manasarovar Lake and it was the coldest and the most auspicious moment of our lives. The rocks in the lake were very slippery but the water was very clean and blue. We were warned by the travel guides to dip just once so that we could continue our journey without any health issues. But it was majestic and eye catchy and too auspicious to stop with a single dip. Sai and myself took a dip in the lake. I took only 2 dips while Sai was daring enough to take the third dip in his rudraksha mala.

Sai & I (Sharmila) on the banks of the Lake after the holy dip

After the bath, we walked back to the shore and Sai, the photographer started to create beautiful memories for others by taking snapshots of their auspicious dip in the lake, while we missed those shots.

I spread a cloth on the ground, took out the silver idol of Shiva and Parvathi and performed Pooja and aarathi on the banks of the lake and worshipped Maa wholeheartedly and left a coin in the holy waters. The presence of the coin should remind Parvathi Maa about my presence in her lap. Neela handed over pasupu kumkum taamboolam to us saying it was given by Lalitha, Chandrasekhar’s wife from Indiana. I was in joy that she remembered so well and made sure to give it to each of us, though I didn’t even see her or meet her in person. It felt as if I got it from Maa herself at the holy bank. I later took out my crystal necklace that I bought at Nepal and dipped in the lake to charge it with the powerful waters of Manasarovar. I then wore it around my neck and prayed to Maa Parvathi to bestow me with the boon that whenever I hold that necklace in my hand for an answer and her guidance in times of need, I should receive it from her. I very well believe in the love Maa Parvathi and she would have assuredly heard my prayers and would guide me as needed.

Worshipped Shiva & Parvathi’s silver idol on the bank of Manasarovar

                          Sai and myself spoke to the Priest in our group way ahead and conveyed our desire to offer ‘PinDam’ to my dad and father-in-law, he made arrangements and brought the necessary stuff for the divine ritual. It was a great opportunity to have him in our group. Without him, we wouldn’t have succeeded. Sai performed the ritual with humility and gratefulness, while I sat by him and prayed to our Pitru Devathas to receive the offering and get blessed. We were told that 21 generations of our Pitru Devathas would plan and pick the child in the family to visit Kailash and Manasarovar and to perform ‘PinDa pradhaan’ for them. I should be thankful to Sai for performing this deed with love and attention. I prayed that my dad, father in law and all our Pitru Devathas should be liberated no matter where they were at that moment. When I informed this to my family members and my mother in law, they were in tears that the ritual was performed at the most auspicious Manasarovar Lake and what more could be asked for was their feeling.

Sai performing Pitru Karma to his dad & my dad on the banks of Manasarovar

Thank you Lord for making our lives and that of the departed ones worthy with this one time opportunity. We felt very auspicious after the dip and the ritual and conveyed our thanks to Maa Parvathi, who was the embodiment of Manasarovar lake. We then drove for another hour to complete the parikrama of Manasarovar and finally reached a cottage for the night’s stay with no bathrooms.

                      The sight was amazing with Mount Kailash right in front of our eyes and Manasarovar to the side. Two eyes were not adequate to captivate the beauty in our hearts. PeeTadhipathi Sri Radhananda Swami had our priest perform Rudra Homam that evening in that beautiful location.  It was astonishing to see him sit outside without any jacket or socks and he said he stopped eating food for the past 30 years, except for some fruits and milk. His life has been sanctified and it was our fortune to be able to go with him.

                       I read in the Kailash book that we would find rocks inscribed with Sanskrit Om and with different shapes resembling Kailash, and the Shiv parivar at the banks of Manasarovar Lake. We were fortunate to find and pick Om and Kailash resembling stones. Our joy was like that of an innocent child. We were so glad to see another Shakthi PeeT-Manasarovar.

Rudra Homam before the visible Lord

                       Rudra homam was taking place and we were sitting in the open field opposite to the Kailash mountain. When the Sun started to set, we could see Shiva’s face very clearly on the mountain as if he was smiling at us with abundant love. That was an unforgettable moment of our lives. I didn’t know if Shiva was always seen on the mountain or we were fortunate to see his face so clearly but it was a great moment. Beneath His face, I could see Parvathi Maa’s face to the left of him and to our right when we faced the mountain. Anupama casually looked at the Kailash Mountain and was startled to see Shiva’s face vividly and spontaneously stood up with respect.

Shiva & Maa’s face smiling at us performing Rudra Homam amidst Radhananda Swamiji

Then, I realized why Kailash was so precious and auspicious. Until that moment, I thought Shiva’s family lived inside the Kailash mountain but it was not so. The entire mountain is enveloped with Shiva and He looks from there and bestows his grace on all who step onto that mountain. That is the reason why everyone feels enlightened when they step on that mountain, since there is a face to face interaction with the Lord who is live on the divine network. Won’t ayya and amma see us from there and feel extremely happy to see their children who took so much of pain, inconvenience, discomfort, sacrifice, energy and will power to reach them? I offered my humble salutations to the eternal mother and father. Rudra homam was completed and we offered arathi to the visible Lord right in front of our eyes and ended the day.

Sri Radhananda Swamiji leading the group to Manasarovar-Kailash

Terrfic night at Manasarovar 

                      It was getting colder and colder and we had our warm delicious dinner. Hats off to the Sherpas who were serving all the pilgrimage visitors at every place with a smile. We were always provided with warm water and fresh food at all places. There were few of us in the group who wanted to do parikrama. Since we lost 2 days in Nepal, we were only left with one day to do parikrama in our allotted time after which we had to return to the group who would stay at Manasarovar until we came. If not, the group visa would get cancelled and for that reason, we were told to leave Tibet along with the group in time. So with breathlessness, we packed our backpacks that night with the most necessary items needed for survival like food, medicines, flask etc. Only few things would fit into the provided backpack by travels since it had to be carried all along by us or the porter. We had strict limitation on the weight of the packed backpack. I also put silver idol of Shiva and Parvathi in a zip lock along with gandham or sandal powder to place the idol on the very land of the holy Mount Kailash to charge it even more during the parikrama. Anuradha said, “Sharmila, why do you want to carry this again? It was already charged with the holy waters of Manasarovar.” Then, I thought she had a point and put it aside. Immediately, Anupama said, “Let’s not stop her from taking the idol. We don’t know why she felt like taking it with her. Take it with you Sharmila!”  I again put the idol back in my backpack in a hurry. I was done packing and unfortunately Sai said he was not feeling well, may be with the high altitude and asked me to heal him. I was scared and sent quick healing energy to him. I couldn’t do the formal healing due to lack of strength due to breathlessness and the terrible cold haunting me that night, making me helpless. I was all set for the parikrama the next day but I had the fear of breathlessness due to low oxygen levels as we go up during parikrama. Even while at Indiana, from the beginning, though I was fascinated for Kailash trip, I was worried deep inside with my back pain and my ability to walk 16 kilometers in a single day. Sai wanted to trek and not ride on a pony. I was not quite sure because of my disc problems in my back. Though there was pony availability, some people warned us not to take pony ride since riders will be separated from the trekking group and that back pain would increase sitting and bending on the pony. All I could do was to pray to Swami to bless me with what was good for me.

                         After dinner and just before sleeping, some of our group members finally had a chance to discuss our plan with the Sherpas for a single day parikrama. Suddenly, we overheard a heated discussion since Sherpas were telling our group  that since there was backlog of previous batches who reached Kailash before us, with the severe weather high up on the parikrama route, they stopped parikrama for 2^nd and 3^rd day completely for all and we would die if we went there with waist deep snow and that we could do parikrama even in future if we survived then. On top of that, they said there was no possibility for any of us to do even a single day parikrama, since we would not be able to come back the same day. Even if we came by emergency vehicles it would be next day and that it would end in the group’s visa cancellation and the air tickets’ cancellation since there was so much travel to reach Nepal and our final destination and at the least we had to start early morning to visit Yama Dwar and from there, go through the Chinese embassy, go on a  helicopter from Taklakot to Hilsa and airplane from Simikot to Nepalgunj and immediately had an airplane to catch to reach our final destinations. This all would happen only if we got lucky and if the weather permitted for the airplanes to take off and land as expected. We were not aware of this kind of situation and the travel folks booked our tickets pretty tight for the group, may be to avoid paying the expensive hotel rooms, had they given us buffer. Finally, the Sherpas said we could not do parikrama even for a single day. But our friends Neela and Jay’s main intention to visit Kailash was mostly for parikrama and their family had 2 days buffer to leave for U.S.A. so they desperately wanted to do parikrama no matter how the weather was. Since there was no risk factor involved with their flight cancellations, Sherpas finally agreed for them to go. Sai also had a buffer of two days but after all the heated arguments and meetings for hours in that cold night with many and with no intention to leave the family and the group, he decided to stay back with us. We finally knew we were not going to parikrama. Anupama, Anuradha and myself were in the room, looked at each other, smiled at each other and took it as His divine will. They looked at me and said, “Lo! Swami already gave you a message to see Kailash from far and come back. We should NOT regret, for it is Lord’s will.”  We didn’t feel sad at all at that dark, cold, scary and shivering moment.

                     We were to face that night in that brick cottage. There was power only from 8-10 PM and we had to use our torch lights after that. We were told there were flesh eating coyotes roaming around in that place in the nights and we should stay in groups if we went out in the night. That was the most uncomfortable night of our lives, where there were mere brick walls with no heaters with the coldest temperatures in the night. We were extremely tired and ran out of breath walking even 10 steps inside the room. Thermals, tri climate jackets and multiple layers of clothing helped us survive but I couldn’t sleep at all. It was very disheartening to hear some elderly people in my room muttering all night due to cold and I was literally waiting for the Sun to rise. It was too cold for us to wake up at 2 AM since we heard that Shiva and Parvathi usually have a bath in that lake every day in the form of Jyothi or light from 2-4 AM. We couldn’t move an inch from our bed due to killing cold and were helplessly lying on the bed for the Sun to rise and shine. It was then I knew why people die of cold and I decided to plan to complete all my pilgrimages before I hit 50. Anupama, Anuradha and myself slept in the same room. Sunrise felt like a boon to our lives.

Meditation on the banks of Manasarovar on Gagavataran Day 

We couldn’t sleep until 2 AM but woke up, finished our morning chores without a shower and even without informing our spouses, we casually walked to the Manasarovar lake to meditate in that quiet, beautiful, rejuvenating and serene atmosphere. Anuradha said, it was ‘Gangaavataran’ day, when Ganga was brought to the earth for the very first time. So, while chanting shloka, we sprinkled the cold Manasarovar water drops on our heads, and we sat in different directions on rocks to witness the grandeur of Manasarovar- an unforgettable moment of our lives to see the Manasarovar lake in deep blue, with the Snow Mountains lined up behind the lake and Kailash to the side of the lake. I didn’t know if I should admire amma or Shivayya more. But being my divine parents, I looked at both of them one after the other consuming their divinity to the best I could to remember those moments, the rest of my life. We tried to capture the beauty in our two little eyes but we were not even close. It was that beautiful. It was like heaven with divine magnificence inexplicable and immeasurable to the human eye and brain. I connected with the Manasarovar lake and thanked Maa Parvathi with humble respects and love and prayed to her to shower her love on her child waiting to rest on her lap and experience her motherly love.

At the same time, Anu’s son Shravan asked us to come to the cottage. Swamiji was performing Siva Parvathi kalyanam on the open ground and we went there right in time, and took their blessings. After some time, Swamiji’s disciple and a great singer Anuradha garu from our group was asking if there were any unmarried girls in the house and I immediately went there for Sravya and then she gave me Shiva Parvathi kalyana talambralu (yellow rice poured on the divine couple’s heads during kalyanam) and said, “ These kalyana akshintalu are very very powerful. If we put on the unmarried wishing to get married, she will get married within one year for sure.” She said with so much confidence that I was very happy for Sravya and when the akshintalu were put on her, Gautam’s family visited to see her for the first time, and they liked Sravya and her family and vice versa and the wedding was finalized in the same week for next year. Thanks to Shiva and Parvathi for their blessings enveloped in grace. I saved the talambralu for my kids too in future. After the Shiva Parvathi kalyanam, we packed our bags and started off to the much awaited place called ‘Yama Dwar.’ 

Yama Dwar

                       ‘Yama Dwar’ is the gateway to the great Mountain Kailash situated at a 4860 meter altitude. ‘Yama’ is  the God of death. ‘Dwar’ means gate. It is believed that passing through this gateway of the Death God, one shakes off all the mortal bonds, in order to reach Lord Shiva, as a pure being. It signifies leaving the earth plane and entering the heavenly Kailash. Yama is considered to be the judge of one’s deeds during the earthly life, on the basis of which one’s life after death is decided. Passing through this Yama Dwar means purification of one’s soul. For Parikrama, horses and yaks are available there. As such, there is a small temple like gate at the place, from which one enters the Kailash Parikrama trek. As per the custom followed at Yama Dwar and, upon my Usha sister’s advice, at my home itself, on a white cloth, I wrote all the names of my family from both sides (mom’s and in-laws) and prayers for my family, future generations, Pitru Devathas and for all my friends to be blessed.  Sai wrote, ‘Om Namah Sivaya.’ It showed his simplicity and desireless nature as usual due to which I always address him as a sage with no desires, or selfishness. I asked my kids if they would like to write their wish to reach the Lord. Tears of happiness and pride ran down my cheeks when I read what kids wrote on that cloth. Roopali wrote, “God! Please take care of mom and dad and keep them safe.”  Roohi wrote- “Shiva! Please grant liberation to my family.” What more could we ask for, since the entire essence of human birth was in that single sentence! While Roopali prayed for our safety in this life, Roohi prayed for the safety of our future lives. I felt they were much matured and wiser than me. Anupama and Anuradha who were sitting behind me were also fortunate to be able to write on the cloth in the moving bus on our way to Yama Dwar.

                             At last, that divine moment arrived urging me to chant Trayambak mantra with reverence to Lord Yama standing in the line to enter the gate. I prayed that we should not experience any Yama yaatanas or difficulties during our last moments or in our after lives and that we should get liberated.

Chanting Trayambakam, and with faith instilled in my heart, I prayed to Lord Yama and tied the white cloth right inside the temple gate on a string to which hundreds of cloth pieces were tied. We came out of the gate in reverence as if it was a new birth with a fresh start. It is from Yama Dwar, one enters the Kailash Parikrama trek. We wholeheartedly wished good luck to Jay and Neela’s family for the parikrama and prayed that they should be safe.

Yearning for the divine parents 

We were given few minutes to relish the majestic beauty of Kailash mountain from Yama Dwar. Anuradha was behind me until a certain point. Since there was no chance for us to do parikrama, I wanted to have a feel of the parikrama by walking a few steps on that divine path of sand and rocks touched by Lord Shiva, Parvathi, Nandi, Ganesha, Shanmukha, thousands of Devathas, Rishis and Bhagawad bhakthas. Unintentionally I separated myself from the group which I didn’t then realize. I started walking forward, staring at the clear and celestial sight of the holy Kailash which was pulling me towards it. I could feel the power, and divinity of Kailash and was walking, yearning, crying and praying at the same time singing bhajan and chanting a shloka written by Sri Kalidasa which I learnt in my college days which I had been chanting all along from the beginning of my Kailash journey-

“VAgardhAviva saMpRuktau vAgardha pratipattayE

jagataH pitarau vaMdE pArvatI paramESwarau”

We pray to our Divine parents Lord Parameswara and Goddess Parvathi who remain combined in themselves as speech and meaning. The last line was very touchy for me since I truly regarded them as my parents.

                      I also kept humming the bhajan, “Jai Jai Jai Jai Ganapathi Deva……Maathaa Parvathi pita MahaDeva.” Honestly speaking, my true intent to go to Kailash was not to see the holy mountain. I again and again heard and heard from several people that everyone experiences Shiva and Parvathi somehow or the other during Kailash trip or parikrama and I wanted to breathe in that sight and sanctify my life. But only then did I realize that I lost that divine opportunity to feel them since there was no parikrama for us.  I would be leaving Kailash in few minutes and I realized my dream was going in vain; I would be moving far away from their physical proximity; I would leave that place empty hearted without seeing them. Right now, when I am typing this experience, my eyes are filled with tears of bliss and gratefulness towards the divine universal parents that I fail to move forward with my writing. I pray to Shiva and Parvathi Maa that they themselves should write or write this experience through me as it truly happened on the holy land.

                   I knew I was going too far but nothing in the world could stop me or warn me.  I was walking on the path slowly, staring at Kailash with tears rolling down my cheeks, questioning the divine parents as to why they didn’t give their darshan-

“ Amma and Shivayya! You know I came here only to see you and feel you and  will I be leaving in few minutes without your darshan? I treated you as my parents and are you measuring my worth to grant darshan? I am thy child and a child need not have worth to deserve to see her parents. Parents do not need to measure the merits of their child to appear before her. I am not leaving Kailash without your darshan.”  

Thinking thus, pleading thus, praying thus, sobbing thus, I walked ahead and just sat on a rock staring at Kailash my last few moments. Without a second thought,  I took out the Ziploc with the silver idol of Maa and Shiva from the backpack and placed it on the rock. All of a sudden, a small sparrow like bird sat on the rock in front of the Ziploc very close to me. For few seconds, I thought it would take away the Ziploc with my Lord and Maa. I was looking into the back pack and moved my hands but still it didn’t get scared or go away. With its long beak compared to a sparrow, it touched Shiva once and then touched Maa Parvathi. It amazed me but I didn’t bother about it. I took chandan powder or gandham and started to do abhishekam to the idol with reverence and love. That bird didn’t go and it was still there. During abhishekam, it came and stood right behind the idol in front of me.  Suddenly,  it struck me that it was none other than one of my divine parents. My heart recognized the fact without an iota of doubt and my hands automatically turned away from the idol and did gandhabhishekam multiple times to that bird which still didn’t fly off despite the powder falling on its head. It stayed right there and I folded my hands and offered my salutation to the bird. Still the bird stood there as if it was waiting for something. My heart understood that it was waiting for prashad offering and I quickly looked through the bag for almonds or any prashad with the fear that it would fly away. It still stood there but I couldn’t find prashad in the other Ziploc and conveyed my sorry to it and did pranams again with folded hands. 

The silver idol of ayya & amma worshipped with gandham in Kailash (unwashed)
Kept the idol unwashed in my altar at home. Pic taken after I returned from Kailash

Meanwhile, Sai was looking for me and then shouted from far asking me to hurry up since we were to leave soon. With a jerk, I got up from the rock, grabbed the holy sand and pebbles and dumped them into the tins that I brought while the bird flew away.  In all humility, for the last time,  I placed my head with tears-filled eyes of gratitude on the sand near the foot of the holy Kailash, with my heart filled with contentment, love and gratefulness. After all, Shiva is Bhola Shankara and it was very well proved in my case that if we yearn for him in all devotion, he will appear before us without fail.

Praising Shiva & Parvathi aloud before the holy Kailash 

I quietly passed Yama Dwar and went out to join the group ready to leave since the travel guide was hurrying us a lot. We all sat for a final picture right in front of the Kailash mountain and then, all of a sudden, Anuradha garu told us that Kailash is not just Shiva and that it is the embodiment of ardha naareeshwara which is Shiva and Shakthi and asked us to see Maa on the left of the mountain while she started to sing a touching shloka on Parvathi. I could feel the goosebumps; she sang so heartfully and beautifully  that all of us were simply staring at Kailash in bliss. I knelt down with folded hands and in tears of love and imagined that Sai, myself, Roopali and Roohi went and leaned our heads on the holy mountain with reverence and that we were performing abhishekam with kumkum, turmeric, gandham and milk to the entire Kailash mountain. The bhajan momentum was going on and Anu sisters and myself then stood up and sang “Ganga jatadhara Gauree Shankara Girijaa manaramana” and we were all in blissful tears, crying for the Lord. What a bhajan to sing on Gangavataran Day! What a beautiful historic moment of our lives that was! Singing several bhajans right in front of the holy Mount Kailash? How many people would get such opportunity to sing his glory aloud not minding tons of people, Sherpas, pony riders staring at our group in bliss outside Yama Dwar?  Finally Anuradha garu said, “Someone please sing Sai bhajan” and after a few seconds of silence, Sai all of a sudden started to sing Sai’s bhajan, “Mangala shubha kari maataa Maheshwari, Sai Bhavani, Akhilandeshwari.” That was a moment of fulfilment for Sai and thanks to the Lord for bestowing his blessings on Sai. I bowed down on the Kailash land for the very last time, bursting in tears of joy in seeing him and tears of separation from the physical proximity of Kailasa Vaasa. We paid homage to our Lord and as per my family members’ plead, I prayed that they and my kids should also be blessed with the opportunity to visit the holy land of Kailash.

Singing our hearts out in tears before leaving His physical proximity-Kailash

                     The guide rushed us at that moment. But since Anuradha garu requested the guide that we should also be taken little further in the bus along the parikrama path to have a little closer sight of the Kailash, he had to fulfill the wish and thanks to her for making it happen. So, all of us sat in the bus with little more eagerness to see the Lord and we were asked not to get down since we would be at risk of missing the flights. The bus stopped at one spot and we had one clearer darshan of Kailash.  One kind and elderly person in our bus asked us if we had any food to be given to the porters and little kids in the parikrama area. All of us in smiles and happiness pushed our hands in our backpacks and gave out the cereal bars, protein bars and other stuff that we brought for parikrama. We wanted to bring some toys for the kids but due to lack of space and memory, we couldn’t but we felt very happy to at least share our food. The bus moved but not my eyes from the divine abode of my parents.

                   My heart was filled with joy with inexplicable divine feeling. Sitting in the bus for two more hours going around the divine Manasarovar lake, I started to memorize the beautiful bird experience to permanently record it in my mind and soul. I didn’t feel like saying a word; I was very quiet and quite content with the darshan I had. I was in bliss supreme and then closed my eyes and asked the Lord, “Lord! I know it was one of you-Shiva, Parvathi Maa, Ganesh or Shanmukha that blessed me in the form of that bird. I want to know who it is exactly.” Then, as usual, I heard a clear message saying, “Amma, ayya kaavali ani adigavu kadaa. Ardhanaareeshwarulamai aa pakshi roopam lo vachaamu.” It meant, you said that you wanted mother and father and we both came as ardha naareeshwara in the form of that bird. I was taken aback as without my intention, tears of gratitude started wetting my eyes and face. How could this child convey even an iota of her gratitude to the divine parents of endless mercy and kindness?  I may not have deserved it but as parents, and as per my innocent prayer, they didn’t care or dare to measure their child’s worth. With that experience, my life has been blessed by Shivayya and amma without judging my merits. Out of their boundless love for this child, they would have broken their own rules and gave me darshan. That very golden moment would remain a blessed instant in the history of my life; thinking of that one moment, I could live rest of my life with a devoted heart; that one moment pacified all the waves of thoughts in the ocean of my heart; that single moment became a boon to an innocent bud of spirituality who has done no penance in this life; that one moment made me spend so much time in bliss and that single moment numbed my thoughts, tied my tongue and made me dumb.  While most of the people in the bus slept off after complete exhaustion from sleepless and comfortless days and nights, I was wide awake gazing the beauty around and grazing those beautiful memories and looking at the stunning Manasarovar lake and Kailash mountain those few hours. Every turn the bus took, we were fortunate to see both of them or either of them. Those two days were blessed and blissful days I could never ever forget.

Memorizing Sri Sathya Sai Baba’s words which came true 

I was again reminded of Swami’s message that I received in the Indiana Sai Center, even before I decided whether to go to Kailash or not-

“Mimmalni Kailash lo kalustaanu. Kailasaanni dooram nundi choosi vacheyandi.” (I will meet you at Kailash. See Kailash from far and come back.)

Yes, it was an unforgettable experience for me; as Swami said, he met me in Kailash in the form of ardha naareshwara in the form of a bird; he blessed us with abhaya hastha; we were asked to sing a Sai bhajan before the Kailasha nath. Yes! I went all the way to Kailash but the plans got changed in the last minute and as Swami conveyed, I didn’t do parikrama; had to see Kailash from far and came back. What a revelation! I was not the planner. Everything was preplanned by the Lord himself as to when to go; what to see and how to see. I learnt the lesson to simply live this life in faith in the Lord and let him direct my life however he planned it to be. He has made my living easy on this earth plane and for this, I bow at thy divine feet! I realized that God does not come in his divine form but he comes in the form of a bird, stranger, rock or animal. We should be wise and open to recognize him no matter what form he takes.

                    At last, we reached Taklakot, Hilsa, Simikot and Nepalgunj and met Jay’s family at the airport who witnessed the golden Kailash after their first day of parikrama. The picture was simply gorgeous and so was their experience. They had to come back since Neela went low on oxygen but very kind of Jay who gave away his shoes to the sage like person who came from Kasi to continue his 2^nd and 3^rd day parikrama. On our way from Simikot to Hilsa in the helicopter, I was still calm and blissful inside my heart passing all the mighty mountains and suddenly tears of sorrow ran down my cheeks thinking of the fact that Ganesha, Shanmukha or Hanuman didn’t give their darshan. I prayed and longed for their darshan too while I was at my home in Indiana. In tears, I was taken aback watching those mountains staring at us. Every mountain had eyes, nose and a mouth and I was petrified to watch them. I was sure they had life and they were Devathas or some great sages performing penance at the feet of the Kailash mountain and their Lord.

                    We safely reached our respective final destinations, while Sai and Jay’s family stayed at Nepalgunj for two more days since tickets were booked separately. They visited another Shakthi peeT called Guhyeshwari temple and their Indiana friend Nabin’s parents living in Nepalgunj who feasted them with love and care. Sai visited the elderly lady from our group few times who was hospitalized in Nepalgunj after darshan of Kailash due to low oxygen levels and was kept in ICU for a week. Her husband went to Nepal to take care of her and she fortunately became normal in a week and reached home safely.

                      I was going back home and all of a sudden, I could feel severe pain in my back as if someone dumped all my pain back into my back. It was then, I realized that I didn’t have a trace of back pain during my entire trip despite several uncomfortable nights, bus and flight journey for long hours. My pain brought me a smile of faith in the Lord for listening to my prayer and fulfilling it. Thank you Swami for your enormous love! He forcibly dumped the pain into my back as if to make me aware and remind me of my own prayer that was answered by him. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have realized it. How kind of the Lord to always strive for our welfare and to wait for us to just ask him to fulfil it! We should depend only on the Lord for simple or complex situations in life.

Indian pilgrims not allowed to have Kailash darshan 

                        Once we returned from our trip, we heard that hundreds of people were stuck even before entering Tibet for weather and political issues. They had to return back home without seeing Kailash and we felt sad that all their efforts, money, and eagerness to see the Lord went in vain and we knew how much it takes for one to do this pilgrimage. Chinese Government announced that the Indian border personnel trespassed across the Chinese border to obstruct construction and, so they had taken necessary actions to not allow pilgrims from India to visit Kailash and Manasarovar in Tibet. It only proved how easily and fruitfully we had His darshan and returned home safe. All I could do for the rest of the pilgrims was to pray to the Lord to bless them with his darshan and bring their efforts to fruition. How sad! Manasarovar and Tibet belonged to the land of India and Chinese took over it from us decades back and stopped Indians from entering that auspicious land for years and once again Indian government had discussions with China and from then, Chinese government started giving permission to the owners of its own once upon a time land to enter their own land at their mercy. My heart was filled with distress and so, while I was on the land of Kailash and Manasarovar, I invoked and put in my prayer to the Universe and prayed that we get back our treasure, our faith, our land, since we revere its auspiciousness, significance and the worth which we truly deserve it. I hope that one day, my prayer would take fruition by Lord’s grace and our Modi governance will raise its worth and help India and the world reap its benefits with no politics, unethical control or hatred of China.

Bidding good bye to our lovely group 

                        We bade good bye to our group members who became friends with each other, not letting the age limit our bonding. We hope to meet them again in future. We were fortunate to travel with Swamiji, Koteshwararao uncle and the group in which, everyone was so eager to utilize the time in the divine chanting. 

Reunion with my kids & narrating divine experiences 

I returned to U.S.A, in all eagerness to see my kids Roohi and Roopali desperately waiting for me. I thanked Lord for the blessed opportunity and went to our temple to solace my soul. For few days, I didn’t feel like talking or chatting with anyone and unknowingly, I became calm inside. Life seemed to be empty and until then, I thought my longing would end after the Kailash darshan but I realized that I was highly mistaken. My longing increased and so, I grabbed every opportunity to reconnect with the Lord and my memories. 

Ganesha’s darshan 

But every time, the thought struck that Ganesha didn’t grant me his darshan, I was in tears of being neglected by him. I always treated him as my brother in need and even tied Rakhi to the wrist of his idol on Raksha Bandhan Day.  I had great hope to see him there in his abode but my eyes couldn’t see him, probably I was only immersed to have a glimpse of amma and Shivayya that I failed to see Ganesha. After I came home, I questioned him in tears as to why he didn’t give his darshan and lo, that night I dreamt thus- I saw a very giant dark brown wooden Ganesha in the place of Shilpa’s main door. I had his darshan for few seconds and when I woke up, I was in bliss and gratitude that Ganesha gave his darshan no matter where and that he didn’t forget me or negate me.

God knows what is good for us 

                         I narrated to my kids Roopali and Roohi the bird experience and described the beauty and worth of those auspicious places on the earth-Kailash and Manasarovar and they were just crying and crying  out of joy. In all tears, both of them said with shivering words-“Amma! May be we didn’t deserve to enter that place and so God didn’t make us go there.” It was my turn to cry and said, “It was not God’s intent. I prayed everywhere I went, that my kids should equally receive the merit of visiting those holy places along with us and asked for Lord’s blessings to be bestowed upon you both. We will try our best to go again along with you. If not, you should promise me that you would go with your spouse after marriage and have it as a life goal. Visiting Europe or materialistic places may be fascinating but convince your spouse to take you to Kailash. ” They promised me they would. It was then it struck me why my kids couldn’t come with us. It would have been very complicated for Roohi. Yes, another lesson I learnt from this experience is that we have to learn to bow to God’s will without questioning the happenings for, He knows what is best for each of us and He is the ultimate planner of our lives.

                      In all thankfulness, and contentment, I started living my life with immense happiness and felt that I was able to connect with the divine very easily compared to my life prior to Kailash. It was during Sunday bhajans I realized what it was when we uttered the word ‘Kailasa’ and my heart bubbled with extreme joy that my eyes and my entire face drowned in my own tears of bliss. Until that moment, I uttered the word Kailash several times during bhajans but it only meant Shiva’s abode but after visiting Kailash, when I uttered the word Kailasa vaasa, it was then I felt the land I put my feet on; the land that I worshipped; the forms of Shiva and amma that I saw on the Kailash mountain; the dust on that holy land that purified my being; the very thought that my Lord acknowledged my presence in Kailash and thus sanctified my life.  It was then I realized why I dreamt of Shiva and Parvathi several times in my yesteryears. It was then I took pride in being named after Maa Parvathi (Naga Venkata Parvathi Sharmila). I will always remember Anupama and thank her from the bottom of my heart for making my life worthy by being the sole inspiration to make us take up such a divine trip.

                      After coming back from Kailash, people wanted to touch our feet saying, it was equal to touching Kailash. It was astonishing to hear from them its significance after we returned. They said it would happen only if God willed it; otherwise one could spend time, money and effort in going till there but still come back without seeing Kailash due to weather, political or health reasons and returning from Kailash is like a second birth. Our temple Priest Sri Keerthivasan also said that the only way to nullify the bag of Sanchitha Karmas is through the pilgrimage to Kailash. All I could do was to humbly offer myself to the Lord, thank him for the precious opportunity given to us out of his kindness and continue to lead a pious life.  Visiting Kailash was destined by the Lord in his pure mercy, though I was ignorant on how much it meant to a Hindu. It was only after visiting, I knew that Kailash pilgrimage to Hindus was like Mecca to Muslims and Jerusalem to Christians. Once in this life, every human being should visit that holy land. Some may feel that we should see the Lord in our heart itself and we need not travel far, searching for the Lord like I did think in the past. I do not deny the fact but does everyone have that intense connection with the Lord to truly feel him inside the heart? That is for the lightly enlightened souls. With every year passing by, and with every growing experience, I realized that everything said in our Vedas or scriptures is for the benefit of humanity and these pilgrimages have immense power in them and the effect is amplified when felt deep inside the heart. They exist for the benefit of the humanity to live a divine life in the age of Kali. Every human’s aim should be to visit Kailash at least once in his lifetime. Many may not be able to measure its merits in the current life but it greatly and surely saves us in our afterlife also.  I have experienced a celestial feeling after visiting Kailash as if the purpose of me taking a human life has now been accomplished and completed. This one Kailash experience makes me take a deep breath in silence, divinity, contentment and fulfilment.

Samasta Lokaa Sukhino Bhavanthu!

May Shiva and Parvathi Maa bless all of us with their darshan, sparshan and sambhashan on the holy land of Manasarovar and Kailash!!!